Intro: Welcome today; let's Talk with me, your host Jey. Today I'll be talking about a few crucial topics around dating: blind dates, bromance over romance, and lies that men believe about women from women’s mouths.
Grab a snack, grab a juice box, have a seat, and let's talk.
(Duration: 2min)
Dano’s Plug
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Topic 1: Surviving a blind date. (Duration: 10min)
OK, I haven't ever been on a blind date. Do I want to? Absolutely. Have I been on plenty of dates from dating apps that felt like blind dates but not really? YES! Do I have a good idea of how you can survive a blind date or a "tinder" date? Absolutely!
I have been single for over a year since my divorce, and that has come with plenty of first and last dates and tons of experience. Allow me to give you some advice.
Supporting points
Be curious and cautious.
Let the other person talk, don't talk about yourself too much, and be cautious about how you talk about yourself.
Skip dinner, skip movies, skip the "regular first date."
Do something! Do something you will have fun doing, and they will too. Make it an experience, if nothing else.
DO NOT SAY NO! Don't say no to the date if you are skeptical about it; it's about the person you're with, not so much the date. Go to that fair, go to that racetrack or something. Do something new, EXPERIENCE!
Keep your expectations LOW, LIKE SUPER LOW.
This goes for guys and girls alike. Don’t expect way too much for a blind/tinder date. Everyone can talk behind a screen, but social interaction takes some people longer to get comfortable with.
Be OK with Gaps in conversation.
Yes, these are OK. You’re interacting face to face, and sometimes you can't think or get distracted, but that's OK. Your chemistry isn't quite there 100%, but that's OK if it doesn't flow immediately. Give it time.
This is a 2/1- Keep it short and sweet/ ditch the escape plan.
Keep the date short- establish a time frame for how long things will take and keep to that plan if you’re the one planning it. Don’t drag it on all day.
If you come up with an escape plan, you might as well not go at all. What’s the point of having a plan to leave and still going when you want to have one ready in the back of your head?
Lastly, don’t be quick to dismiss
At the end of the date, simply ask yourself 1. Did you have a good time? 2. Are they good, pleasant people? 3. If both are a yes, you have enough reason to go on a second date, in my opinion.
We're talking 2nd date, not getting married or starting a family. Simply, getting to know them better and seeing them again.
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You’re only as attractive as the blind date your best friend set you up with
I always plash on the cologne before a blind date because dogs can smell fear- Josh Stern
Some fun stats around a blind date:
Blind dates are considered awkward endeavors, yet new research finds about four in 10 Americans have been on one. In an exclusive study conducted by DatingAdvice.com, 43 percent of Americans said they've gone on a blind date. Aug 3, 2020
From that, I'd put the success rate of blind dates at 1 out of every 3 or 4. So, it's pretty plausible that the people feeling burnt out may be realistic in their assessment that the blind date won't be pleasant. The date is probably unlikely to go well. Sep 25, 2018
-Psychology Today
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Topic 2: Why bromance way is better than romance. (Duration: 10min)
Main point
First, let’s define the two works- Bromance
, a close but nonsexual relationship between two men.
A bromance might start with admiration of something that the other man does, like his ability to shoot hoops, talk to women, or succeed in business. The men enjoy hanging out with each other so much that it becomes a (nonsexual) infatuation.
Romance
a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love. A quality or feeling of mystery, excitement, and remoteness from everyday life.
Supporting points
Straight men officially prefer bromance to romance, according to a new study in Men and Masculinities. When researchers surveyed straight undergrad men, they found that most guys reported their close friendships with other dudes were more emotionally satisfying than their romantic relationships.
Do I 100% believe that your partner should be the first person you should try to allow to bring you emotional satisfaction- Yes? Is that always the case for a man or a woman? No, it’s not.
Communicate with your partner about this and their feelings.
Some essential points from guycounseling.com:
The best explanation for that deeper bond is that a bromance often stems from a long-term acquaintance and a kinship based on mutual interests. In my case, my best guy friend is someone that I've been friends with since we were little kids. I feel like I've known him forever. That level of familiarity often trumps the novelty of my recent hook-up at the local bar.
Occasionally, our romantic relationships can be founded purely on physical attraction, not emotional compatibility. In other words, your girlfriend might be smoking hot, but she doesn't know the first thing about cars or even respects that you have a passion for cars.
That's not the case with your best bro, though. He knows you love cars, and he's willing to spend all afternoon in the hot sun with you trying to get the gear timing right on your transmission…because he cares.
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Having a soulmate is not always about love. You can find your soulmate in a friendship too.
A bromance is someone who can see the truth and pain in your even when you're fooling everyone else.
The female version is a best friend/bestie/BFF, whatever you want to call it.
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Topic 3: Biggest lies that men actually believe about women. (Duration: 10min)
-Not wearing makeup; they are
-The phrases "I'm fine," "nothing’s wrong," "I don't want anything," "you're the best ever," and "I'm not mad."
-He’s just a friend- they were probably more before
-it’s just a girl’s night- she is likely going out with her single friends, going to act single to get her friend a man
-I'm only going out for a couple of drinks. It's going to be a calm night- comes back at 2/3am.
-You’re hilarious- they’re going to laugh instead of saying it
Supporting points
Ladies, listen up; here we go with some of the guys. Tell you
-Sorry, I missed your call; my phone died, and I had no signal- meaning I didn't want to talk to you for whatever reason.
-I'm stuck in traffic- basically saying I'm running late but in a way that makes you think we are naturally running late and not my own errors
-You’re the only one I have ever loved- men will never tell the truth about the number of women they have dated/ been with.
-Of course, I like your friends- they can tell boys.
-The game is almost over: guys, just tell her you to want to stay for another beer or to hang with your friends long.
Data, quotes, or other information
-good communication is the bridge between confusion and clarity- Nat Turner
-the most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said- Peter Drucker
-a relationship without communication is just two people-
Outro: See you next time (Duration: 2min)
Recap
I hope you enjoyed your snack and juice box and had a fun talk with me today. I hope you had some laughs and some fun, and you are now slightly more prepared for your next date, you understand your bromance better, and you now know what's really being said by your partner.
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